Well... I was all prepared to write a nice blog today about it being the first day of Lent and how I am renewing my committment to this challenge with new fervor.. which I guess I still am.

But I woke this morning to a message from my partner to say that she's dropping out of the challenge AND out of the friendship.  I don't know what to say.  Its odd to be shedding so many tears over someone I've never met.  we've had some ups and downs in the friendship but through it all we've cared for each other and loved being "best buds".. well..at least I thought so.  She hasn't given me an explanation and only said that the fact that I keep telling her that I am here for her and care about her is one of the reasons.  I will pray for her.. I know at her weak moments she makes some poor choices and I hope this turns out to be a step forward for her and knows that I still care and am here if she needs me.. but I'm soooooo confused and hurt.  This came out of nowhere..

I guess if anyone reading this knows someone looking for a partner, let me know.  But if not, I guess I'll have to drop out too, cause even though I weigh enough for 2 people, I'm not a couple.

Good luck everyone!

-Brian

Wow I've really slacked off on my blogging.. I told myself that I would keep up on it throughout the weekend... well theres always next weekend to prove that theory!! I read Brian's blog and have to agree.. there are definetly some friends that can say things about your weight, but when it comes to needing their support to drop those pounds.. forget about it..  I am blessed with my best friend, Kelly... she is a huge support to me here, she is constantly picking me up when I am down and walking beside me when I just need the support.. I know you will read this... I love you Kelly..

 

Brian is my support through online, phone and texting.. knowing that he is counting on me.. does help me get through the days a little easier..  but through it all I find myself still struggling at times.. trying to talk myself into just this "once" or just a "little" bit wont hurt.. But as we all know.. once and a little bit add up. 

 

The last couple years have been difficult ones for me.. I've been in and out of depression, more in then out.. slowly gaining more and more weight.. A few months ago I was diagnosed with Polysistic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which surprisingly causes depression and weight gain..its a hormonal imbalance that the birth control pill can usually regulate.. my levels are now regulated, so losing weight should not be a problem now for me..

 

I gained weight for both my pregnancies but then there was a reason.  It's difficult to see pictures of what I looked like just 2 years ago and see how I've let myself go.. I know that I need to stop being angry at myself and accept myself now and know that everyday I'm bettering myself..

 

I am  30 years old and hermit myself inside my house when I'm not working.. and you know what.. I'm damn tired of it!! Life is to short and I dont want to look back 2 more years from now saying "if only"...

 

We can do this Brian!!! Love ya

Well..its been a few days since we blogged.. Both Tonya and I have had our weak moments and times when bad habits and self doubt have creeped it, but we are both making great strides in making lifestyle changes and in supporting each other.  tough to do from so far away, but gotta love technology!

 

what I find so interesting is the friends who aren't being supportive and are trying to talk me into eating poorly or having an extra beer, etc.  I'm really trying.. but its odd that I'm doing better on my own than with most of my friends.  They've always told me to do something about my weight, but when all they have to do is NOT discourage me.. alot haven't been very helpful.  It was quite the surprise.. I'm curious if others are finding the same thing.

 

Tonya and I are eating pretty well.. and slowing incorporating exercise.. I think we're smart to make the changes one step at a time so they seem more natural.

 

thanks to all our new friends on here for all their support.

 

hugsss,

Brian

Well.. so far so good.  Tonya has been under the weather but has been doing great.  She's been the big motivator and accountability person so far.. she rocks!  I've had a few temptations, friends taking me out to lunch, meeting a friend at a bar..but I"ve been good so far with my choices and with eating regularly.  We both just gotta get the workouts into gear soon.

Breakfast:

B: special K w/ skim milk

T: low cal toast

 

Morning Snack:

 

Lunch:

B: cajun talapia w/ brocoli, small salad, and half of 1 mozzarella stick

T: an apple

 

Afternoon:

B: Nabisco 100 cal. peanut butter cookies

 

Dinner:

B: grilled chicken w/ steamed veggies

Well here we are on day 3.. its not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I'm a little pissed right now because I just typed a huge blog and lost it so now I'm trying to remember what I said. :(  I'm tired of shorting myself in life, life goes by so fast and being overweight restricts you from doing so much!! I'm so determined to do this, to lose the weight this time, because I want to live!!  well on to our menu, since I cant seem to remember what I said in my "lost" blog....

 

Breakfast: Brian- low calorie breakfast sandwich

                     Tonya- 2 pieces of low calorie toast, w/ spray butter, 1 piece of fatfree cheese and 2 morningstar veggie saugsages... yummmm

 

Midmorning snack: Brian- clementines

                                     Tonya- no snack

 

Lunch: Brian- salad from Wendys

               Tonya- footlong sub from subway , black forest ham and lots of veggies on wheat..( yea i know im still working on the portions)

 

Midafternoon snack: Brian-slimfast bar

                                        Tonya - none

 

Dinner: Brian- says hes gonna have a healthy choice steamed bowl

               Tonya- I'm gonna keep it light, some raw veggies and maybe an apple, since I over did it at lunch.

 

Both of us have been good at drinking our water throughout the day.. Brian drank his allotted alcohol lastnight.... Brian's awesome and keeps me motivated!!!! Bring it on 2008!!!!

Well Brian and I have decided to take turns blogging...today is my day.  We were up lastnight on the phone until after 1:00 a.m., so i did not get up and workout like I had planned, kinda dragging butt a little bit too today.  I woke up feeling a little sick, coming down with the cold I've been trying to fight all winter, finally caught up to me.  So far today my eating has been good, I ate two clementines for breakfast and drank some coffee with the fat free hazzlenut creamer..yum!!  For lunch I stopped at subway and got their new lowfat black forest ham sub, with a couple fatfree pringles..drank almost a liter of water so far and have another one to drink after.  I did get a footlong sub, but wrapped half of it up, I plan on eating it around 3:30pm and that will be it for the evening.  Brian is supposed to be texting me to let me know how he is doing.

Lastnight we decided that we needed to set some ground rules for ourselves..first being no pop!! Instead of cutting all alcohol out of our lives, we decided that we are allowed to light drinks per week, our choice whether we drink them at the same time or seperate.  We also decided that we would allow ourselves one "splurge" meal per week, if we so diemed it necessary.. Splurge not meaning that we can eat a weeks worth of food in that meal, reasonable amounts, just not  necessarily the healthiest.  We also talked about how we are not just letting ourselves down by not sticking to this, but we have someone else relying on us to do well, each other.

Well I just heard from Brian, sounds like he is doing good so far today.. for breakfast he had a low calorie breakfast sandwich..midmorning snack had 2 clementines and a banana, lunch consisted of a turkey pita sandwich w/balsamic vinegar..GREAT JOB BRIAN!!! he has also drank 4 glasses of water so far today..

This is my introductory blog for my Biggest Loser Million Pound Match-up thingy!  I am teaming up with my friend Tonya.  We met playing cards online... probably an activity we're gonna do alot less of if we wanna be more active and become more happy with ourselves.  She is a great friend and has been there for me through alot of things, though we've never met.

I don't know when this challenge ends.. but they asked how much I hope to lose in 2008 and I think if I work hard enough, I weigh approx. 375lbs. (the scale at the Dr.s office didn't go high enough) and I'm 5ft. 10in. ,I can drop 120 lbs this year.  

 

Tonya is 30.  5ft. 7in.  and weighs 256lbs.  and will work to lose 100 lbs this year.

 

so our combined '08 goal is 220 lbs.  but we aren't sure when the technical "contest" is up, that might change our goals.

I know this will be more successful than my other attempts to lose weight because I have someone depending on me.. I know that in the past I am better at tasks if someone else is benefiting.  I seem to be good at loving others but not as good at loving myself, I think this will help me get better at BOTH.  Tonya and I are both strong, caring, funny, and sexy people, and enough of our close friends agree, but sometimes we don't.. and she'd like to be more active for her kids.. and I'd like to be healthy enough to MAKE kids with someone someday!  We kick butt.. so we WILL kick butt at this!  We text message each other daily with what we ate and what we did for exercise.. and we encourage each other and spur each other on.  We will do this!